— John Eldridge (via ifnothingelsebekind)
I’ve been called all sorts of things, among them the word CRAZY. And I am certain that I am not the only woman who has had labels thrown at her with the same underlying tone of insanity, psychoticism, delusion, and loss of control. I’m not the only woman either, who has had other women say this about her. I’m guilty of doing the very same.
As a young adult, I’ve had my share of social slander and it has had it’s own moments of victory over me. I’ve let it consume me, belittle me, and dictate what I was allowed and not allowed to express in society. I’ve let labels tell me who I should become. But as most labels do, they begin to limit you. And as anyone whose wings have been clipped by the fear of being judged, you know that there exists a spirit that aches to be set free within you.
It’s the spirit that is hungry to break into dance and march to the beat of your own drum, the spirit that moves you in a certain direction regardless of what society might make of you, the spirit that inspires you to become compassionate, loving, and real with the people who need you; most of all, the spirit that serves without hesitation. It’s a spirit that is brave and true, a spirit that connects you with purpose and meaning. It’s the spirit that challenges the very things that pain you about the world and the lens you use to approach it.
It’s a compassionate spirit, one that is eager to make a difference. An eager soul that knows intuitively when it is living its greater purpose.
A quote from the movie Girl Interrupted says that CRAZY is you and me amplified. Crazy, Susanna Kaysen says, isn’t being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It is in fact, a reflection of the most passionate and living part of you.
If delusion is a strong conviction of belief that may not be evident on the contrary, then our gut feel and spiritual intuition must be entirely crazy. Our dreams must be insane, and our passion to serve life with the talent we know best is downright deranged. But isn’t that what our biggest dreams make us feel? A little crazy?
I’m realizing that I have been called crazy for the way I’ve dared to speak my own truths and for speaking them anyway. I’ve been called overbearing for having goals and choosing to become an advocate of a particular message. I, like many women out there, have been called emotional for expressing anger, disbelief, and disappointment in an individual. I’ve been called psychotic for holding my own opinion.
When we express pain and allow ourselves to become vulnerable, I noticed how society veers from this. As if admitting hurt and emotions were the plague. I think its CRAZY how so many people are so fearful of the truths that they carry. And even more insane when they beat each other down for real and raw self-expression. Why call someone psycho when you hear them tell you how much you’ve hurt them?
Guilt plays a large part in our inability to connect to people whom we’ve hurt. Fear plays an even bigger part when we cannot seem to empathize. Anger masks both of these, and the labels become result of this.
Therefore I say, if calling us crazy, insane, delusional, and psychotic helps one to ease their own deficiencies, then so be it. Let me be CRAZY and downright insane. Let me declare dreams and my own feelings. Let me connect with my intuition and gut feel, and let me be the woman who is unafraid of social CONNECTION.
I choose to embrace the light and love of the spirit within me. I choose to acknowledge the emotions that remind me of my own humanity, and I choose to appreciate the mistakes I myself have made and to view life through the most vulnerable of lenses, if only to make me MOST REAL and TRUE.
Embracing the crazy within me,
— ― Thérèse de Lisieux, Collected Letters of St Therese of Lisieux
The world is going to tell you many things; among them the need to do away with your beliefs and convictions, a need to re-adjust and conform. The world will tell you that you’ve wasted time holding on to your gut feel and that critical thinking wins, but here’s one thing I learned about the world: it doesn’t quite know jack sh*t.
Over the Christmas season, a homily shared the value of establishing our hearts. The message was simple, to get to the end goal, we needed to start planting our roots in what mattered. We needed to start saying YES to the opportunities that presented themselves. But first and foremost, we needed to start acknowledging our own TRUTHS.
For what it’s worth, our truths are the feelings we possess about certain situations. They become our moral compass. Our truths are quite simply, the inner voice that we possess, the heart of the matter from which our passions are born. Our truths, no matter how bizarre, are what we need to hold on to lest we compromise the quality of our convictions.
I realized, that when our truths are questioned, we cannot help but sway with the tide. They ruffle our feathers, overwhelm us, and leave us lost in the dark; only to realize thereafter that one thing still remains, our gut feel was right.
Simply put, valuing your own truth means trusting your intuition. Trusting your intuition means strengthening your convictions, paying attention to the details, and welcoming your subconscious messages to surface. Valuing your truth means being certain of your own “dip stick”, it’s training your mind and body to send you the signals that you need.
Value your truths because it’s your life to lead. Value them before you get lost. Value them because these are what make you most real. Value them because you value your very self.
— ~ Thich Nhat Hanh